Monday, July 12, 2010

The Inconvenience of the Relationship Status

Has anyone ever noticed how inconvenient it is to have a relationship status in big social networking sites like Facebook? Well actually the inconvenience lies, not so much in having a status per se but, in the need to update it.

Sure, I understand why people would love to broadcast that they are happily in a relationship, or that they got engaged or married even. Heck, I'll be the first to say that that's exactly what I did when Carlo and I became an item! But think about it...what if you all of a sudden things changed? And what if you want to keep it to yourself at first? Because on Facebook, or any social networking site, the moment that you publish a change in status, you can expect a barrage of comments faster than you can harvest your crops in Farmville.

Ok let's put it in more concrete terms: What if you and your partner decided to cool things off or call it quits after a significantly long time together, or worse, call off an engagement? How does one go about changing a relationship status "quietly" without the watchful eyes of gossip-mongers, without hurting family and friends, and without having to explain what happened to each and every well-meaning friend who commented?

The explanation really is the tough part. You want your press-release to be spared of agonizing details, but how does one go about that? Because really, no matter how you put it, breakups and endings are always sad, even if they were mutual.

I say owe no one an explanation. The only people that deserve an explanation are you and your significant other.

And I guess to be rhetorical and to answer my questions above, the only way to go about a "quiet" status change without the unnecessary attention would be to simply delete the account, and, as with any breakup, pick yourself up and start from scratch...with a new Facebook account. (This time try to leave the relationship field blank).


  1. on your finale part, i would like to comment. deleting is too much don't you think? i mean, sure, your relationship that has ended depresses you and would invite people to question and stuff. but don't you think that deleting your account is pretending? that relationship is part of you, of who you are now. having nothing to do with it is sort of immature. like you're in denial.

    for example, you have had cancer and you survived. there are people who want to know your stories but you close your doors and pretend you haven't had cancer.

    i stumbled on your blog, i don't mean to be such a talker. your post is interesting and a good read.

  2. hey! thanks for taking time to read and comment :)

    and i wasn't really being serious in the last part, not entirely sarcastic as well. it was out of exasperation, i guess. and notice how i struck out the "simply" in "simply delete" because i know deleting an account isn't easy and yes, i agree with you, a bit too drastic. i don't think i'll actually ever go that far.

    "like you're in denial." - well not really in denial, more like you don't want people meddling. you don't want to share it yet, not until you're ready to talk about it. blessed are those who have friends who understand your need for space and "inner silence".

    "i don't mean to be such a talker" - by all means, talk all you like! i like healthy exhcanges of opinions :)

  3. yea, that's why i never update that part of my fb status. hassle mag-explain sa mga tao.